RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry about my life...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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