so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
