4 words: hood of his car
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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