Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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