We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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