the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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