seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
