He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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