Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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