in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
