Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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