if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
