This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
