Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
