I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
