I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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