Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There was a lot of him and a little penis
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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