Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
