yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
