That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
only if we run a train.
done.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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