he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
