this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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