and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
