How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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