doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize