Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize