That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
