That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
