I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
