ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
