This girl is more easily done than said...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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