Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
