Can Purell be used as lube?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
