you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
