Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
