he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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