Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
