How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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