We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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