I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Everything about him screamed your future.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Are my feet made of real feet?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
