end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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