I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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