but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
