Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
