I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
