Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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