i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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