guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
