dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
