I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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