Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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