Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
