no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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