Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
