are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
