Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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