i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
