Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
