and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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