no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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