I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
