Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
